Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. It has been nearly two decades since my last confession. Covering all that ground could really take a while so I'll just stick to the highlights.
I totally corrupted my little brother. I taught him curse words when he was a toddler, got him stoned before he turned 12, convinced him to bite a soap fish in a store for a dollar (which he promptly had to use to buy a soda to wash the taste town), and I once recruited him to help me steal a McDonald's Teenie Beanie Baby from a thrift store.
I do not think there are enough Hail Marys in the world to save me.
I also totally plan to lie about my weight when I renew my driver's license and passport.
If you've got something you want to get off your chest, but you don't want us to know which cousin you are, feel free to log in to our fancy new anonymous gmail account. It's "donttellmargaret@gmail.com" (of course) and I'll send you the password if you email me.
He knows. He always knows.
7 years ago
1 comment:
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