don't tell aunt kathy...

Okay, clearly this whole Don't Tell Margaret thing is off to a slow start. But that's okay. I'm not giving up. I understand. I barely find time to maintain my own blog, and I have all the time in the world. And I recognize that not every family was raised to over-share as my own family does. Further, I totally get it that certain things just should not be broadcast over the internets. Right now, my own clan is weathering a bit of a juicy crisis, but it will just have to wait for the Christmas letter. Even there I will have to choose my words carefully. Talking to my mom, I told her I was begged to leave this particular topic out of the letter, and she responded adamantly, "Oh, no, it's going in the Christmas letter, all right!"

Anyway, I can't wait until the day I discover the first post from the East Coast. In the meanwhile, perhaps I can entice you with some appalling evidence about just how under informed your West Coast cousins are.

For instance, though I knew that Aunt Mary's recently had back surgery, I had no idea that Aunt Jane's been fighting thyroid cancer - that is, until my parents decided to mention her recent efforts to address her brain aneurysm. This, of course, I also knew nothing about. I figured she got all of her health troubles out of the way with her whole breast cancer thingy. And even that I scarcely followed, I just know it was more of a duct issue than a classic tumor situation. I feel particularly bad I am so behind on the details as I've become a bit breast-centric myself, having just recently joined the ranks of the mammogrammed.

Anyway, thanks in part to Aunt Mary's incapacitation, it seems that Aunt Kathy has been spending more time taking care of our beloved matriarch, Margaret. This is where today's story begins.

As most of you know, my dad is the family Democrat. I know, it's kind of strange, as so many Catholics remain staunchly Republican if for no other reason than that whole pesky abortion angle. But my dad, he's very good at compartmentalizing. So it works for him. And frankly, it works for me. I have not been bitten by the political bug like my dad and my brother (who mock me for my very loose association with current events), but I went to Berkeley. I love myself a good liberal.

So, of course, this is a very exciting time around the Thomas household. If my dad and Kevin could will Obama into office using their very large brains they would totally do it. In fact, I sort of think they believe they can, cuz trying to talk to them about anything else is pointless these days.

What you might not realize is that Margaret herself is actually an Obama fan. I know. Shocking, right? Except it's not shocking to me at all cuz I swear I once interviewed Margaret (18 years ago when I was an undergrad) about her opinions on women's rights and, specifically, about abortion. I was surprised then to find that she was more than a wee bit pro-choice. My dad insists I must be wrong about my recollection or that she must have misheard the questions, but I swear to you it was very clear at the time. Perhaps my dad got his compartmentalizing skills from Margaret? Besides, even if Margaret totally openly embraced abortion, I'm sure God would forgive her. She's totally on his good side. Anyway, I suspect the truth is that my survey questions were inherently flawed. I'm pretty sure they were structured in such a way that you either had to answer pro-choicedly or come off sounding like a total douche bag.

Whatever.

So, as the story goes, my dad recently mailed his mom a photo of Obama. When he called her (as he does, I think, practically every night), he asked her if she'd received it yet. She was, it turns out, in the presence of Aunt Kathy. Not wanting to upset her daughter, Margaret answered that, yes, she had gotten it, but she, "had to H-I-D-E it." Um, don't tell Margaret, but I'm pretty sure Aunt Kathy can spell. And if she can't spell, well, then don't tell Aunty Kathy, but Margaret's voting for Obama.